Blown Up in my Face

So just days after I let Cadie have the run of the house I'm in the middle of a personal panic. Her leg seems to be getting worse. I mean, she can still run, and jump, and walk, but she seems to be holding her back right leg more than she was even a week ago. Is she getting worse? Am I imagining that she's getting worse? Who can say. All I know is that I've decided to limit her access to the bedroom during the day because I don't want her jumping down from my mattress which sits almost 2.5 feet off the floor. I've also decided to step up her physio massage things that I've been giving her.

I know that I have a tendency to overreact, and last night I started to cry, thinking that she needed surgery, or that she was dying, or something. The cool light of morning shows me two things:

1) Her ears are down more than they have been in the past, this could be a sign that she's in pain, or it could mean that she's tired.
2) While Cadie may need surgery, she's unlikely to die, so I can stop playing that scenario out in my mind.

If nothing else, I'm determined to ensure that Cadie has a long, healthy and happy little dog life.

My Worst Nightmare

When Cadie first started sleeping in the bed with me, as an older puppy I used to have nightmares that I would roll over on her and break her legs. I would wake up in a panic and check each one of her legs, go back to sleep for like an hour and then do it all over again. Cadie is unflappable, she usually slept througth the whole thing, but would drowzily pull a foot out of my hands if I bothered her too much. I remember one night in particular, when my sleep-addled panic had me saying out loud "I broke all 6 of her 4 legs". However, Cadie was always fine, and it was just my overactive imagination. This fear stems from my last dog, Kaely, she fell down the stairs and broke her back left leg, it's just so awful to watch them suffer, and so terribly expensive, it's stayed with me.

This morning was different. I didn't give it a second thought, I came in and saw Cadie looking pitiful, which isn't really that unusual, as she likes a good lie in, but when I called for her I realized something was wrong. Normally she hops up and runs to the door to wait for me, but today, she stayed on the bed, so I went over and scooped her up, wrapping my arms around her hind legs, and as I did so she cried out in pain. Putting her down I could see that she was holding the back left and still looking pitiful.

I picked her up and put her back on the soft blankets, where I gave her a leg message, being satisfied that everything was attached I put her down again, and watched as she tentative walked to the front door, looking pitiful.

I was really unsure of what to do, should I stay home and observe her, you know in case I need to take her to the vet. But then we opened the door to the building and Cadie got a nose full of fresh air, and she was off, trotting along like nothing was wrong, and I realized that it was all an act when after 5 minutes she tried to pull me off in the direction of the park. Sneaky little girl.

Today is a work day, so I forced her home, where I made breakfast for us both, and as I sat down next to Cadie on the couch with my cereal she turned and gave me a pitiful look. Dogs, such manipulators. And what about me, who nearly fell for her tricks.