Having a plan means a lot more responsibility. It means that I can look at it and tell when I’m not on track. The day started out with me feeling like that, but now I think that I am more on track than I was before the Easter break. This afternoon I hit the place that I was dreading, I walked out of a brief meeting and knew that I could do nothing more to improve my situation at work. To be honest in everything that I have been through I never felt so helpless as I did at that point. It was easily my lowest moment. It also left me with a huge dilemma to sort out. I had some great company this evening. I made a delicious meal, had some more great company, and now, with only 30 minutes until bed I feel a lot better.
What’s the difference? I have decided to back off of the fruitless pursuit of fixing my job/career. This is not the time, I have put so much work and energy into this and I have not seen a single improvement, so it’s time to walk away. Treat it like a job, just the way I used to when I worked at Biway or Laura Secord. Instead I’m going to focus on fixing my home, and regaining my sense of pride in myself and my home. This makes me feel like a weight has been lifted from me. So now I am choosing colours, and talking about where furniture should sit. What a breath of fresh air.
I replaced the water in Uter’s tank tonight, so he is swimming away like a brand new turtle. Cadie has settled in to bed for the night, so everyone is happy.